→ Shocked Nuns

Three nuns were talking. The first nun said, "I was cleaning in Father's room the other day and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines."
"What did you do?" the other nuns asked.
"Well, of course I threw them in the trash."
The second nun said, "Well, I can top that. I was in Father's room putting away the laundry and I found a bunch of condoms!"
"Oh my!" gasped the other nuns. "What did you do?" they asked.
"I poked holes in all of them!" she replied. The third nun fainted.

→ The Towel

An elderly Jewish gentleman marries a much younger woman.
No matter what the husband does sexually, his wife never achieves orgasm. Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to ask the rabbi.
The rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the following suggestion: "Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you are making love, have the young man wave a towel over you. That will help the wife fantasize and should bring on the desired event."
They go home and follow the rabbi's advice. They hire a handsome young man and he waves a towel over them as they make love. It doesn't help and she's still unsatisfied.
Perplexed, they go back to the rabbi. "Okay", he says to the husband, "let's try it reversed." Have the young man make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them."
Once again, they follow the rabbi's advice. The young man gets into bed with the wife and the husband waves the towel. The young man gets going with great enthusiasm and the wife soon has an enormous, room-shaking, ear-splitting, screaming orgasm.
The husband smiles, looks at the young man and says to him triumphantly,
"You see, you young schmuck? THAT'S how you wave a towel"

→ Bible

Why is the Bible like a Penis?
You get it forced down your throat by a priest.

→ I'm sick of it!

→ Confession

A drunken man staggers in to a Catholic church and sits down in a confession box and says nothing. The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing. The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak.
Finally, the drunk replies: "No use knockin' mate, there's no paper in this one either."

→ Da Vinci Code Parody

Married Life

Going Insane