→ Genie’s Lamp

A gay man was walking along the beach when he stumbled upon a Genie's lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold, out popped a gay genie.
The Genie said, "Hey Girl, wassup?"
The amazed man asked if he got three wishes.
"Nope, just one...due to inflation, constant downsizing, low wages, third-world countries, my new pumps pinching my big toes, and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So...what'll it be? The complete set of Tyson Cane videos? A copy of the Marilyn Monroe Happy Birthday Mr. President sequined dress in your size with matching shoes?"

The man shook his head 'no', and didn't hesitate. He said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other."
The Genie looked at the map and shrieked, "Miss Thaaaaaang, I don't think so, not in this lifetime!! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm good, but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish."
The man thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to find the right man, you know, one that's considerate and fun, warm and affectionate, gorgeous, is well endowed, only wants sex from me, doesn't do drugs or drink too much, has a great job with a good income, likes to cook and helps with the housecleaning, and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and tells me I always look fabulous, and is great in bed. That's what I wish for... the perfect guy to have as my lover."
The Genie let out a long sigh, clutched his hand to his heart and said, "Oh Miss Thang... let me see that map again."